Riverdale Auxiliary: Episode 5

RFR5-Cover

Oh hello! It’s the fifth installment of the Riverdale Auxiliary, and everyone’s invited! Strap into your Santa sleigh and fly through the following selected panels from our delightful, if belated, holiday-themed episode. Best enjoyed with milk and cookies.

 

Change-Exchange

The change exchange right now is US $1.75 to CAN $1.22. Maybe Pops will sell us two-thirds of a burger.

Believe it: The following three images are from “Yule Never Believe It”.

Christmas-Luck

Archie explaining his Christmastime invincibility (obvs) and Reggie happy for him as uzjh (yooj?).

 

Moose-Kills-Reggie

That’s the holiday spirit, Arch!

Again! Check out how smartly dressed all three dudes are, especially for the era and season. That green jacket can visit me anytime! Also, since we recorded the epi, winter has hit Toronto hard and cold, so I’m thinking about coats a lot these days.

 

Archie-Kills-Santa

What other things is flattening Santa like? It’s like wearing white after Labo(u)r Day! It’s like announcing the wrong Miss Universe winner! It’s like “Imma let you finish”! It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife… Isn’t it ironic?

 

Santa-Who

You can either go see Will Smith in Concussion, OR you can listen to us discuss this story about Moose and his football-induced head injuries. (Spoiler alert: Evan and I are two of the few white people who were not nominated for an Oscar this year.)

 

Boxing-Stance

Moose-As-Santa in this panel reminds me of Graves Solomon saving Fred Andrews from last week’s sailor story. That broad fighting stance is a power move, though in the context of the story, violent and an overreaction. Listeners, is Moose a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde character? Chill, Moose!

 

First-Brownie

Queen Veronica has spoken. And did we ever figure out what the first “brownie” is?

 

Racist-Caterers

Er–No thanks, Ron! Their initials are KKK.

 

Sk8r-Boi

First, smarten up, Betty!

Second, where do the cool twelve-year-olds hang out these days? I need some life advice.

Third, are you guys listening to Evan making fun of me for thinking (i.e., knowing) Betty’s mom’s name is Alice Cooper?

 

Shopper-Cropper

We explain the history of the phrase “come a cropper”, but a quick example for context might be: “When Evan mocked Lucy about her correct claim that Betty’s mom’s name is Alice Cooper, Evan was coming a cropper.”

Or a modern version might be: #fail.

Succinct.

Lucy Cappiello

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