Riverdale Auxiliary: Episode 2

RFR2-Cover

The second meeting of the Riverdale Auxiliary is now in session! Check out some of our favourite panels from Archie’s FunHouse Comics Double Digest. We discuss these comics and more in Episode 2: Dog Analog.

 

Moose

Riverdale is not outside the patriarchy. Midge’s dress tho.

Tall-Girl

Reggie’s masculinity is so well entrenched (ehn?) he digs a hole so Tall Lucy can simulate Reggie’s-Height Lucy. HE LITERALLY LOWERS HER INTO A PIT! But does the solid dig pun save the humiliation/nonconsensual kissing? Only you get to decide, dear readers.

Dogs

Watch out! You’re going to step in a poop joke!

Is that old dude Colonel Sanders, a Tim Gunn hybrid, or…FASHION SANTA? Regardless, he looks like he needs a mint julep STAT!

The next three shots are all from Archie & Friends in BOWLED OVER. (Sorry for the fuzzy scanning along the gutters! Please SPARE us your ire!)

Texting

Basically nothing else is happening in these panels except that cell phone & Jughead’s bizarro texting shorthand.

 

Midge

In this universe, women are slaves and endure back-breaking labour in the bowling mines of Riverdale. Their lives are interchangeable and commodified. It’s a bitter existence. Until, one day a beast of a man, a Moose, swoops in and saves our beautiful slave damsels. Order is soon restored.

 

Moose-Bowling

I hope it ends in a pissing contest! (The comic actually ends rather sweetly, you guys.)

 

Computer-Dating

Swipe right on Dilton. Natch.

 

LilArchie-Sexism

Lil Archie is the biggest jerk in this story. EAT YOUR CHICKEN, LIL ARCHIE!

Other notes: Let’s see more Ambrose! That lil dude is just great.

 

El-Archie

In the otherwise pun-heavy Archie-verse, “El Matador” forgets what puns are and it ruins everything.

Activity: What would your faux Spanish name be? El Evano and La Lucia want to know.

Lucy Cappiello

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